it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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