Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
