sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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