Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
