She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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