He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
