This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
