Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
