come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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