i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
