And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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