4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
with your own penis?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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