why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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