there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize