I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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