Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
So much Jack, so little girl.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
