Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
