How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
