Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
