This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize
