i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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