I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
