Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
There's always time for handjobs
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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