is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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