Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
