the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
God I need to hump something, right now.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
