i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
