He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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