real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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