Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
