I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
