i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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