I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
