Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Say something about gay babies.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
