Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
