It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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