What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
