YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
