Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
