how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
