Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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