bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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