She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Randomize
