i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
