Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
