we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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