Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
