Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
