she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
