Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
