tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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