I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
you will always have a special place in my vag
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize