last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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