I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
