And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
