Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
