All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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