when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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