she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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