Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
