I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
