did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i think i have herpe
just one?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
