Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
